God Is Love. ❤️
Finding the Right Words Day #17: LOVE
There’s a song modern church worship teams like to sing either just before the pastor comes to the pulpit or during the benediction called “Reckless Love” by singer Cory Asbury. Black gospel choirs and praise teams usually jazz it up but the message remains the same. The chorus goes:
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God.
Oh it chases me down, fights til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine.
I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it. Still, You give Yourself away.
Oh the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God…
It’s a beautiful song. The harmonies singers come up with as they belt it out to the congregation often brings tears to my eyes as I sway and sing along, “I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it.”
Consider those lyrics: I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it. That’s an interesting message.
I grew up in the church. Not quite a PK (preacher’s kid), but my grandpa was a deacon, my granny cooked in the church’s kitchen, my momma was a choir director and taught Sunday school, and my daddy played the piano. I was in church five to seven days a week (especially in the summer) and I didn’t hate it. In fact, I loved being in church. It’s where I made my first and oldest friends, where I learned to sing, where I did my homework stretched out across the pews during Wednesday night Bible study, where I used to gossip in the bathroom with the other girls while changing into praise dance clothes. It’s where I learned I had a competitive side by participating in Bible Bowls (biblical trivia competitions between other churches around the country). It’s where I ate so much good food and heard so much good music. Church is where I learned about love through weddings, life through baptisms, and death through funerals. It’s where I fell in love with God.
And I still love church. But sometimes, I feel like the church doesn’t do a great job of teaching us to love ourselves.
I think the church was the first place I learned the lesson that you have to be exceptionally good or damn near perfect in order to be worthy of good things.
Throughout so much of my Southern non-denominational (but basically Baptist) church upbringing, Sunday sermons were reminders about how humans are inherently sinful, how we have to live a righteous life to be worthy of the blessings of heaven and the love of God. That if we fall short of God’s expectations of us, we would be punished or some of the goodness of life would be withheld from me until I found my way back to God and to the plans He has for me.
It’s hard for me as a Christian to say “I don’t understand…” or worse, “I don’t believe…” when so much of our religious practice is based on faith, the belief in what we cannot see. But I don’t believe God doesn’t think we deserve His love and salvation. And I don’t think He wants us to believe that of ourselves. If that was the case, why would He sacrifice Jesus for us? Why would He build us this world? If we don’t deserve it, if we aren’t worth His blessings, what’s the point?
Part of the reason I have a hard time expressing my needs is because I’ve convinced myself that I don’t actually deserve the things that I want. If I’m not getting the romance and affection I want out of a relationship, I must not be cute or sexy enough. I must be doing something wrong. If I wasn’t getting enough attention at home, it meant I wasn’t being impressive or helpful enough to my parents. If I got an answer wrong in school, it meant that I was wrong and I should feel bad about myself.
I think the church was the first place I learned the lesson that you have to be exceptionally good or damn near perfect in order to be worthy of good things.
A lot of people and churches get caught up on The Ten Commandments. They are important but they're not the only commandments God gives us. I believe God loves us, all of us. He wants us to love each other (that’s in the Bible), and I also believe He wants us to love ourselves. I think he wants us to believe in ourselves, believe we are worthy of the best He has to offer us in this life. I don’t know if love is something we have to earn or deserve (contrary to Cory Asbury’s beautiful lyrics). I believe God is love and that love is in us and for as at all times, for all our lives.
This entry was written under the prompt LOVE, Day 17 of the Finding the Right Words 30-Day Journaling Challenge. Follow along using the graphic above and write about whatever comes to mind with the corresponding prompt. Share with me using the tag #FTRW or email me at joliedoggett [at] substack.com.
There’s no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!