Healing Takes Time
Getting better doesn’t happen overnight. | July Journal Challenge Week 3: HEALING
This is the story about that one time I had to have emergency surgery on my butt.
Some context and background, I’ve had intestinal and digestive issues my whole life (shoutout to all the bad bitches with IBS and colitis!) which resulted in tears and scarring in my colon and rectum. This would be so painful, I sometimes couldn’t walk, I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t sleep, damn sure couldn’t use the bathroom comfortably. Since childhood, I would just grit and bear the pain and discomfort because it would eventually pass.
But one day in my mid-twenties, the pain was not going away for several days and I was very unwell. To the point that I had to go to the emergency room. The doctor examined me and immediately penciled me in for an emergency surgery that afternoon. I had an infection and was in danger of getting seriously ill.
Surgery went great! My immediate feelings post surgery were surprise, relief, and happiness! Finally, the pain and discomfort I’d dealt with my whole life was healed!
And then those good drugs and anesthesia wore off and I was hit with the reality of long, painful recovery process.
Healing doesn't happen overnight nor should it.
My manager from my job at the time called to check on me. She knew a bit about my colorectal issues after working with me for 5 years and due to my sudden surgery and had not returned to work for over a week, she was understandably concerned.
I surprised myself by bursting into tears and confiding in a woman who was technically my boss about my fears that despite everything I’d gone through over the last few days, nothing seemed to be working and I was afraid I’ll never feel good ever again. And she responded simply and reassuringly saying, “healing takes time.”
I would feel better again. And there would be days when I would feel worse. I just had to patient and keep taking care of myself.
She was right, of course. After much needed rest and medication, I returned to the doctor weekly for post-op care and still see a colorectal doctor and a gastroenterologist from time to time. I’ve had to make adjustments to my diet and lifestyle to manage my butt and intestines but sometimes, I just have bad tummy days and the healing process starts all over again, rarely as bad as the first time, but neverending.
All these years later, I still think about this moment in life and this random exchange between colleagues when I reflect on my healing journey of both my physical and mental health. Getting better and staying better is a constant journey of trying to make healthy choices, taking medications, getting check ups, and overall lifestyle adjustments. It’s as true for my brain as it was for my butt.
When my former therapist, Dr. Dylesia Hampton-Barner (please say the “doctor!”) first introduced me to the phrase “Happy, Healthy, Healing, and Whole,” I immediately noticed that “healing” was the only verb in the list. The other three words were solid states of being. You get happy, you get healthy, you become whole. Whereas “healing” was a continuous flow state. You never stop healing. It is a constant journey with no final destination. You just gotta keep going.
Healing protects your happiness and your health and your wholeness. And your health, happiness and wholeness can help you in your healing journey.
Healing doesn't happen overnight nor should it. There is never going to be a day when you wake up and say "Oh wow! That thing that was bothering me doesn't bother me anymore and it never will again! I'm 100 percent healed!" You have to keep working at it.
But the work is always worth it.
This journal entry was written for Week 3 of the Finding The Right Words July journaling challenge with the theme HAPPY. HEALTHY. HEALING. WHOLE. Subscribe for new journal entries, writing prompts, and journaling challenges.
There’s no wrong way to journal, you just gotta find the right words. Happy writing!