Three hundred and sixty-six days ago (2024 was a leap year), I was feeling depressed. I was sitting in my room, on my bed, next to a pile of laundry and I had very little hope for the future. I was out of job, out of a friendship, grieving the loss of my family and the loss of my home, and I was almost out of my mind. I was sad, basically. And I was really close to giving up.
So I decided to pick up a pen and write about how I was feeling. Three hundred and sixty-six days after that decision, my life does not look the same.
Since starting this newsletter and sharing my journaling journey, I’ve started a podcast, I’ve taught multiple writing workshops, I’ve had job offers and job losses (again! ugh!), I’ve connected with some amazingly, brilliant human beings online and IRL, I’ve been surprised, frustrated, and inspired. I spend a lot less time in bed, I’m still not doing my laundry, and I never stopped writing.Â
Sharing my passion for journaling a year ago is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my adult life. I started my journaling newsletter a year ago when I was stressed and depressed and chronically underdressed because I never left my bed. Life looks different now but I still have those days when the sads take over me and I want to get better at talking myself out of them as opposed to talking myself deeper into my depression.Â
I filled the pages of my journal and my Substack with stories of my down days and sad feelings and negative self talk and people pleasing. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last year and I know one thing for sure: I never want to feel the way I felt 366 days ago ever again.Â
So I’m challenging myself over the next month to fill the pages of my journal with some positive affirmation.Â
At least for the next 10 days. And I’m going to make up the affirmations all by myself! Pray for me.Â
I’ve never been very good at speaking to myself with kindness. My self-talk puts me in frequent shame spirals which is the main source of my depressive episodes. If you’ve read my newsletter before, you know that affirmations are not really my strong suit, in fact they make me feel…fake, like I’m lying to or about myself because I don’t always feel the positive mantras that I’m supposed to be saying.Â
But I’m willing to fake it til I make it. I can’t always talk that self-talk. But, maybe I can write it. I’m still trying to find the right words, after all.Â
366 days ago, I felt hopeless. On this day, I feel hopeful. If I could tell the Jolie moping in bed on September 1, 2023 anything, I would tell her I’m so proud of her for trying something new. I would tell her to keep going and see what the end will be. And that’s what I’m going to do now. I’m going to try something new and see what the end will be. And I hope you join me on this new journey.
Happy Anniversary to me! 🥂 See y’all tomorrow!
This journal entry was written for DAY 1 of the Finding the Right Words September Affirmation Challenge. Follow Finding The Right Words on Instagram for more prompts and affirmations. Write your own journal entry and share it with me!
There’s no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!