I'm Following My Heart Even When It Leads to the Unknown
Jolie's book notes #1 📚
EDITOR’S NOTE: Doing something new and sharing my book journal with y’all. I read almost as much as I write and I take notes on what sticks with me. Because sometimes, in order to find the right words for your own experience, you need to read the words of someone else. Check out what I’m reading below:
I knew growth was gonna be hard, but I didn’t know it was gonna be this hard.
When I told a friend of mine that I’d chosen the word GROW as my theme for 2025, he told me that would mean” embracing intentional discomfort.” Basically, I’d spend the year making intentional choices to take actions or say words that don’t come naturally to me, that feel wrong or impolite or dangerous. That’s not how I typically make choices. I tend to choose the people please-y path, the path of least resistance, anything that keeps the peace.
Except I’m not really at peace am I?
My throat burns with words unsaid and my heart bangs against my chest with the dreams its waiting for me to be brave enough to unlock and release into the world. The problem is, my brain is constantly screaming at me, warning me to not do the things that would get me free, because doing things differently could yield different results and the unknown is scary and unsafe.
“Following our hearts can be risky. But we guarantee our own unhappiness when we do not. It is not change that we should fear but staying the same… The path to peace is not to pursue certainty, but to relax into uncertainty.” Those are words from Joseph Nguyen’s book, Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning and End of Your Suffering. A friend suggested I read this book because she knows I struggle with anxiety and overthinking and I admit, it keeps me stuck.
My throat burns with words unsaid and my heart bangs against my chest with the dreams its waiting for me to be brave enough to unlock and release into the world.
My anxiety is my brain’s attempt to protect me from pain but it’s also the very thing that keeps me in pain, keeps me wracking my thoughts and going in circles and wrestling with my own desires and instincts, battling worst case scenarios and beating myself up. Anxiety is trying to keep me happy and at peace but I’m the most unhappy and restless when I let my anxious thoughts run the show.
I had a conversation with another friend recently (shoutout to MJ from The Well-Balanced Baddies!) about how she made the decision not to claim her anxiety and depression anymore. She didn’t want them to be part of her identity, for she knew she, along with God, had the power to craft and create her own life. What a concept! To just stop thinking the worst possible thoughts you can think about yourself and the world.
I want to live in a world like that, where my mind and heart are free to express themselves without fear, I want to exist in a space where I can be myself without care about what others may think. I want to embrace uncertainty with bravery, not held back by the worst case scenario my brain can come up with. I want to experience love without being afraid of losing, and needing to protect my heart at all costs.
That’s a world that me and anxiety can’t reside in at the same time. In the spirit of growth, I think I’ve outgrown my anxious overthinking. And it’s time to lovingly say goodbye.
And say hello to the chaotic unknown and the peace of uncertainty, knowing that whatever happens, I will never let me down, leave me lonely, or steer me wrong. Can I trust myself to live this life without anxiety holding my hand?
BOOKS I READ IN JANUARY
In January, I was definitely in my self-help bag but I ain’t mad at it! I completed four books. They were…
Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning and End of Suffering by Joseph Nguyen. 4.5⭐️’s
Fave Quote: “Don’t wait for something outside of you to give you permission to feel how you want to feel inside.”
My Thoughts: I was expecting a run of the mill self help book but this one surprised me with its practical steps for overcoming anxious overthinking (specifically the P.A.U.S.E. method) plus journaling exercises and real world applications for not letting your thoughts ruin your day. Unfortunately, the audiobook is read by the author and his delivery is kinda boring and dry. 🤷🏾♀️
Would recommend it, though! 👍🏽
The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self Mastery by Brianna Wiest. 3⭐️’s
Fave Quote: “What is the opposite of your fear? That’s what you want. So much that you would go to the ends of the earth for it.”
My Thoughts: This book didn’t say anything I didn’t already know about self-sabotage, procrastination and getting in your own way. It’s always good, though, to have those reminders and kicks in the butt about sometimes, the only thing standing between you and your dream life is you. Plus, this book offered great thought-starters that would make excellent journal prompts.
Would recommend. 👍🏽
What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey. 5⭐️’s
Fave Quote: “With every experience, you build your life. Thought by thought, choice by choice. And beneath those thoughts and choices lies your deepest intention.”
My Thoughts: I reread this collection of essays from Oprah’s column in O Magazine every year and I always get something new out of it. I share more about what struck me during this reread on my podcast. It’s all about intention baby!
Would definitely recommend! 👍🏽
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. 5⭐️’s
Fave Quote: “Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them.”
My Thoughts: This is another reread that I’m revisiting for the first time since I read it in 2017. As I embark on a new era in my career and creative endeavors, the messages about embracing the chaos, genius, frustration, heartbreak, and triumph that is creative living is right on time.
Would 100% recommend to all creatives out there (which is everyone) 👍🏽
CURRENTLY READING & TBR
You Made A Fool of Death With Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi (really enjoying this romance so far!)
All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks (this is a reread, coming back to me at a very necessary time)
This Could Be Us by Kennedy Ryan (another reread as I try to embrace what love looks like in my life)
The Artists’ Way by Julia Cameron (hoping to develop a habit of prioritizing my creativity. Stay tuned!)
READING GOAL STATUS:
4/25 books for 2025 read! 🎉Let’s gooo!!
Thank you for being here! Before you go:
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