In January 2020, I made a resolution to be more social. I wanted to try to get out more, to stop thinking about doing things and actually do them. And maybe also make some new friends around the way. That resolution turned into a new hobby: pole fitness.
From my first class, I was hurt, for sure, but I was hooked. I loved how confident the music and learning what I could do with my body made me feel. I loved coming home with new bruises and new videos of myself doing things I didnโt think I was flexible or strong enough to do. I loved learning something new every week. And I loved making new friends.
My new-found hobby only lasted a few weeks, unfortunately, because Covid-19 came along and getting out of the house more, meeting new people, and being social became the most ill-advised thing to do for nearly three years. By the time the pandemic was lifting, I had moved to a new state and found myself back in the same place I was that past January: wanting to get out of the house and meet new friends. Back to the pole I went!
Iโve been pole dancing consistently for about a year now. Iโm not ready for a P-Valley open casting/casting call or anything but Iโm not bad either, if I do say so myself. A solid C+, A- for effort. Starting, stopping, and restarting has made dancing more difficult but also more rewarding. Iโve learned a lot in the last 12 months about dancing and about life:ย
I don't love pole because I'm super good at it (because I'm not). I love pole because it's good for me.
CONFIDENCE IS KEY
My current instructor says my biggest issue (besides my need to strengthen my core) is CONFIDENCE. She tells me nearly every class: โYou can do these moves, you just donโt think you can.โ Iโve learned I have to believe I can do something before I can actually do it. Iโve learned to stop talking myself out of moves before I even try.ย
FAILING IS HOW YOU LEARN
In some spins and holds, I still refuse to lift my leg off the ground or hold a shape for more than a half a second before I let go. โI just don't want to fall and hurt myself!!!โ is my usual excuse. The thing is, when youโre trying something new, youโre gonna fall (not far) and thatโs probably a good thing. Youโll try and fail and realize it wasnโt as bad as you thought itโd be orโฆ youโll fall and youโll know what not to do next time so you donโt fall again! You either learn to be less afraid or you learn to be more prepared. Every mess up is a learning experience.
RESPECT YOUR LIMITS
Even though messing up is okay, thereโs also no shame in quitting. There are some moves that I just donโt know how to doโฆ yet. And as important as it is to push yourself, itโs also important to rest so I donโt hurt myself or tire myself out too much to try again later. Rest is how you grow.
NOBODYโS PERFECT
I used to think that before I could start pole dancing, I needed to hit the gym and get my arms super strong and get a six pack and I also needed as many shorts and cute bras as possible. You don't have to do a bunch of things to get ready before you start. You just have to start! And keep going. Thatโs how you see progress: consistency. When I remember to just have fun and to just keep trying, as opposed to pushing myself to be camera perfect, the dance becomes more flow-y and more fun.
DO IT FOR YOU
I don't love pole because I'm super good at it (because I'm not). I love pole because it's good for me. Itโs helped me to become stronger, more flexible, more confident, and more patient. As someone who has a hard time putting herself first, pole has been excellent practice in doing something just for me, not for money, not for the Gram, not for any other reason than itโs fun and lets me spend time with friends doing what I love. And that's a good enough reason to do anything.
This entry was written under the prompt FOUND, Day 8 of the Finding the Right Words 30-Day Journaling Challenge. Follow along using the graphic above and write about whatever comes to mind with the corresponding prompt. Share with me using the tag #FTRW or email me at joliedoggett [at] substack.com.ย
Thereโs no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!ย