I think Cancer is probably the most hated of the zodiac signs. Scroll Instagram and TikTok in the months of June and July and you’ll find a plethora of memes lambasting the Cardinal water sign for being dramatic, overemotional crybabies.
I’m a Cancer, I should know.
I am never beating the “moody” accusations. I cry very easily. I love even easier. I'm really sensitive to other people's emotions and take empathy way too far. I have strong reactions to things, perhaps a tendency to overreact.
I used to be very ashamed of being called sensitive. It felt like people were calling me weak and stupid for feeling so much. Other people were "logical" and "in control" of their emotions. In their eyes, I wasn't strong, I was a crybaby.
However, I'm learning that my sensitivity is my super power. It takes a lot of bravery to not only feel your feelings, but to understand them and express them. To be able to admit when you're angry or sad or really excited requires courage.
Understanding my own emotions helps me better understand others.
Existing in my emotions is the most logical thing I can do. Because here's the thing: I'm not special. Everybody has feelings! Everybody gets sad and angry and happy and scared and frustrated. But everybody doesn't always feel safe to express these feelings to the world. There's a fear of being ridiculed and a fear of being vulnerable. People can certainly use your emotions against you to manipulate or guilt you. But I know when I'm trying to pretend I don't feel things, that's when I really go crazy.
When I try to front like "I'm fine" when in reality I'm pissed or afraid, I lose my ability to think clearly. All of my energy goes into maintaining the facade. And I suffer. And my relationships suffer. Because here's another thing: those feelings are gonna come out one way or another. And they transform in the suppression. What started out as anxiety becomes anger. What was once loneliness becomes rage. And the message gets lost in the expression, and the once very simple, very logical emotions become impossible to control.
And when I can't control it, that's when y'all should really be scared.
A poet I admire named Ajolique has written a line that I live by since reading it: "The words we don't say still choke us in the end." I interpret that to mean that even though we may think we're taking the high road or avoiding "drama" by keeping our feelings to ourselves, we're really just hurting ourselves and others.
So I'm accepting and feeling my emotions. I won't let them run me because I won't keep them inside until they take over. I'll give them the freedom to live in the world without restraint and I won't be ashamed.
This entry was written under the prompt POWER, Day 16 of the Finding the Right Words 30-Day Journaling Challenge. Follow along using the graphic above and write about whatever comes to mind with the corresponding prompt. Share with me using the tag #FTRW or email me at joliedoggett [at] substack.com.
There’s no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!