December 31, 2023:
“I don’t know what to expect in 2024. But I have my hopes. My word for the new year is FAITH. I want to challenge my negative thoughts and believe in myself and God more strongly. Mostly, I just want to believe that good things can actually happen. I’m ending the year with no pain, no sadness, no loneliness, no fear (very different from how my year started!). Just lots of FAITH in my future.”
I forgot about faith.
In December 2023, I wrote that my word for the new year was going to be FAITH. I always pick a theme for my year to focus on. Past themes have been FORWARD (challenging myself to move upward and onward) or LOVE (trying to be a more kind, loving person). I chose FAITH for 2024 because my future felt uncertain and I wanted to be able to trust myself and my God to get me through a tough time.
Throughout 2024 so far, my future is still uncertain and my faith has continued to be tested. But I’m coming to understand that faith is more than just a thing that gets challenged, I think it’s a thing that’s meant to do the challenging. Faith pushes back when the world or even your own mind tells you all the worst things that could happen.
I’m still in the habit of planning for the worst and hoping to just make it through. But if I want to fulfill the promises I made to myself at the end of the year, I have to start not only hoping for the best, but having faith that the best is possible and that I deserve it.
How do I do that? How does one increase their faith (especially when you’ve spent your whole life and definitely the last year feeling doubt)? Here’s what I think:
Faith doesn’t mean everything is going to work out. Faith means that you’ll be okay even if it doesn’t. Faith means trusting that the direction you find yourself going, while maybe not the one you planned, may be the right one.
I think faith requires constant communication with God and obedience to what God communicates back to you. What’s the point of asking for something if you’re not going to listen when you get the answer? In that vein, faith requires ego death and humility, a willingness to be wrong or for things not to go your way and to not lose your mind. Do I trust God or not?
I’d rather be on my own side than against myself.
Faith requires honesty and effort. I have to be honest about what I need if I’m going to have faith that those needs are going to be met. And I can’t just sit back and expect the things I need and want to just fall out of the sky and into my lap! The Bible says “faith without works is dead.” I have to put the work into my own goals if I want to see them come true. I have to show not just say I believe in myself.
Faith requires patience and paying attention. If I think about it, so far this year, every time I told myself “why even bother?” or “something bad is going to happen” or “this is not going to work out,” things usually turned out okay! Focusing on my faith means I need to pay attention to my wins! And I need to be patient and wait and see what the end gone be before I start writing myself and my dreams off.
I’m still figuring things out as I go but I’m glad I returned to my new year promises to myself because I’d rather be on my own side than against myself.
This entry was written for DAY 1 of the Finding the Right Words August Challenge under the theme “REWIND 📼.” Follow along using the graphics above. Follow Finding The Right Words on Instagram and share with me using the tag #FTRW.
There’s no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!
This is so good and so on point! Girl I literally just went through my old newsletters and ebooks from my reiki practice and copied some gems to create a newsletter here. Omg I love this!!!