Why Not Now? Why Not You? [VLOG]
Taking a leap of faith (and holding myself accountable) | Small Biz Vlog✨💫
There is a version of me, somewhere not too far in the future, who is living her dream life.
Her mornings are slow, intentional and full of ease. She has enough money and resources to meet her needs and the needs of others. She is stress, anxiety and depression free, finding fulfillment in her friendships and relationships, in her hobbies, in her work and in her business. She spends her days doing what she loves: helping others, writing, teaching, talking, and learning from those she interacts with. She’s happy, she’s stable, she’s full of hope, excitement and gratitude for every day.
Life hasn’t looked like that for me in a long time. And the life of my dreams honestly felt pretty out of reach for me lately.
I’ll be honest (as I always should be because this is my journal), losing my job two years ago made me lose my sense of purpose and my feelings of confidence for a long time. Everyone keeps telling me that this is actually the luckiest time of my life. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m in such a unique space, now is the time to do what I want and chase my wildest dreams.
Maybe, the only thing standing in the way is me.
The thing is, I actually believe that’s true. But acting on that belief has been a lot harder than everyone (including me!) thinks it is.
Embracing the unknown is scary as fuck. And unemployment is genuinely just a never ending series of unknowns. It’s really hard to do what you want to do when your foundation feels insecure [link manifestation & privilege]. I miss being able to act with ease, I miss being able to be and act like myself. I may have all the time in the world but I definitely don’t have all the money, all the information, all the access or all the abilities I feel like I need to be living that elusive dream life. My vision for my life feels really far away in this season.
And yet, that vision, my ideas, the things I want and the things I want to do… they won’t leave me TF alone! I am nagged and gnawed at and insistently nudged by that version of my life that feels so far away, but maybe it’s closer than I think.
Maybe, the only thing standing in the way is me.
The frustrating thing about my current life journey is that I keep running into the same roadblock: myself. Every step I take, every stride I make in the direction of my dreams, I always hit a painful stopping point. No matter how good I feel or how excited I get, there is always this little voice that says “You can’t do this. Other people have already done this and have done it better! There’s too much to do, you don’t have time (or money) to do this. You. Can’t. Do. It. Why are you even trying? ”
But to that I say… Why not? Why not try? Why not now? Why not me?
I’m tired of unemployment, unhappiness, and instability being my story. Why not try on self-employment for a while?
I’m so tired of being the only thing that’s stopping myself from living life. Well… there are other financial and sociological things that are holding me back insignificant ways. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I can’t start somewhere!
The hardest part of doing anything is simply starting. I am really trying to take “I Can’t” out of my vocabulary. Everything I want and want to do right now feels so much harder. But…just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.
The life I want is just on the other side of that action I take to turn my dreams into reality. It just takes one decision, one step, one idea to get started. Just a little effort and my dreams can become real.
Thank you for being here! Before you go:
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