I remembered going to leadership camp for JROTC in high school and taking a Survival course. I learned if I’m ever lost in the wilderness, the number one rule of survival is to stay put. Most people think if you keep walking straight, keep moving, you’ll (eventually) find your way out of the woods to the other side. But I learned in that class that most people veer to the right when attempting to walk in a straight line for a prolonged period of time (or to the left if they’re left handed) and despite their best efforts to keep moving forward, eventually they find they’ve just walked in a big circle. And they’re more lost (and exhausted) than they were in the first place.
I learned that the smartest and safest thing to do if you ever find yourself lost in the woods (or a desert or jungle, is to stay still, stay calm, try to stay hydrated, and stay patient. If you’ve left a good itinerary, chances are you will eventually be found (we’d learned the previous class about the importance of an itinerary. Hello, 127 hours).
When I think about being lost these days, I doubt I’ll ever be physically lost in the woods. When i think about being lost now, at the big age of 32 in my suburban life far away from any wilderness, I think about losing my sense of self. I think about losing my ability to make healthy decisions, losing my faith in myself, losing my connection to my friends and loved ones. I think about losing my motivation and drive to reach my goals and dreams.
But my advice for getting out of this lost state is the same advice I received for getting out of the woods: stay calm, stay hydrated, stay patient. Wait. You will be found.
I think I put a lot of pressure on myself when I’m feeling low, sad and depressed to STOP feeling that way as quickly as possible. To keep moving forward and keep being productive by any means necessary. But pushing through, playing through the pain doesn’t always work. For me, it leaves me feeling even worse, frustrated with myself for not being myself, for not being strong and capable.
But waiting out depression, waiting for better days doesn’t make you weak. In fact I think it takes a lot of strength.
A big lie depression tells us is that we will always feel this way. But one thing I know for sure is that one day, I will feel better. I have to be patient, be kind to myself, not panic and not push/force my way through the metaphorical wilderness (and not forget to stay hydrated!). Eventually, I will find myself again.
And just like having a good itinerary can get you out of the woods, having set/stable things in place can get you out of a funk more quickly. A tool box. Friends, a good therapist, medication. A good podcast, book or positive show to stream. Eating well or even just remembering your goals and values and plans for yourself without pressuring yourself to achieve them can guide you back to where you want to be, even if you feel off course in the moment.
And of course, I’m not saying that if you’re feeling sad you should just stay stuck in your sadness. We all have bad days, weeks, months, even years. It’s not healthy or safe to succumb to the lowest parts of depression, and there is help if you find yourself down way more often than you’re up. But for those periods when you find yourself lost, alone, afraid, doubting yourself in unfamiliar territory: Stop. Breathe. Wait. Remember your plan. Wait. Don’t try to force your way through the feeling. Wait. Drink water!!! Wait. You will find yourself again.
This entry was written under the prompt LOST, Day 7 of the Finding the Right Words 30-Day Journaling Challenge. Follow along using the graphic above and write about whatever comes to mind with the corresponding prompt. Share with me using the tag #FTRW or email me at joliedoggett [at] substack.com.
There’s no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!