Your Effort Is Enough
Finding the Right Words Day #28: TRY
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda, allegedly
(It’s not alleged, it’s from The Empire Strikes Back but the Internet loves to attribute famous quotes to people who didn’t actually say those things)
I’ve always hated this quote. People use it to motivate others, to get them to give their best effort toward a task. It’s supposed to be inspirational but it really just pisses me off. To me,It implies that trying is not enough and diminishes the effort people put toward their goals if they don’t actually reach them. If you don’t find immediate success, then any effort you put toward a task is essentially worthless. This quote implies that the try isn’t enough, and that’s not true.
I’m probably overthinking this but I’m someone who tries really hard at things, but it may not look like a lot of effort from the outside looking in. My struggles with my mental health (and often my physical health, my coworkers know I’m always getting seriously sick for some reason) often means that simple tasks become very difficult and my end goal often seems far out of reach.
I once interviewed a therapist who introduced me to something called the “Spoon Theory” that helped me illustrate what it feels like to only have so much energy you can put toward trying do something:
“Let’s say we all have 12 spoons in the day. Getting up in the morning takes one spoon, maybe cleaning the house takes five spoons ... and you notice your spoons deplete pretty quickly. You have to be more realistic about what you can actually produce in a day and do in a day so you’re not adding to harmful self-critique.”
In other words, she was saying that we have limits to how much we’re able to do and handle. And those limits have limits themselves depending on what’s going on in our lives. So sometimes, all we can do is try and that try has to be enough.
I don’t think I’ve been taught to appreciate how much value there is in a small step.
The idea of simply trying not being enough also ignores the simple fact that everyone is different. While it may be really easy for me to finish a book in a day, my friend with ADHD can’t do that. And while white man may be able to get a higher appraisal on his property, my Black probably
I don’t think that means we should automatically assume that because we’re in different circumstances that we shouldn’t put in an effort to change them, rather that we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves for things outside of our control.
I’m also learning that some things aren’t worth trying, because they aren’t worth doing. I think so many of us throw our all into relationships or jobs or friendships or even simply places that aren’t pouring the same things into us. Is it really worth our effort? Should we be doing things just to say we did them? Or could our time be better spent on things that we actually enjoy?
I say all this to say that your “try” is important, it’s powerful. What you put effort into comes back to you, and it should be something worthwhile. And just because you can’t give your all to something all the time doesn’t mean it’s not going to be successful or that you’re a failure.
This Yoda quote was the first thing that came to mind when I read the prompt for today’s journaling challenge. We’re at the tail end of my 30-day writing sprint. I’m proud of the work I’ve done thus far. However, for the last few days, I’ve been pretty sick and I haven’t been able to devote as much energy to crafting ideas and writing them out as I’d like to. So I told myself, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to try. You just have to get the words out.” And I immediately felt bad.
I’ve been taught that anything worth doing is worth doing well. That mediocre effort reaps mediocre results. That one should either do what they said they were going to do or not even bother at all, to paraphrase wise old Yoda.
I don’t think I’ve been taught to appreciate how much value there is in a small step. I think we pressure ourselves to give everything our absolute all. But instead, I wish I was taught to give things my best effort, not everything, but the things I think are worth my best effort. And to remember that my best will look different from day to day. From person to person. A bucket will still fill if you give a drop of water a day. Muscles will probably grow faster if you lift 10 pounds consistently rather than trying to lift 150 pounds on your first try and burning yourself out.
Everything isn’t going to be an immediate success but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. And everything doesn’t deserve the biggest effort. Sometimes, things just deserve an effort. And your effort is enough.
This entry was written under the prompt TRY, Day 28 of the Finding the Right Words 30-Day Journaling Challenge. Follow along using the graphic above and write about whatever comes to mind with the corresponding prompt. Share with me using the tag #FTRW or email me at joliedoggett [at] substack.com.
There’s no wrong way to journal. You just gotta find the right words. Happy Writing!