I swear "humble yourself" is instilled in us from birth to the point that people-pleasing is born. I'm a lifelong people-pleaser, who often does things I don't want to do begrudgingly. I hate that. I've been working on saying, "No" but the guilt that follows that no? I wasn't ready for that!
can we talk about it? because it's like everything you do for yourself (even good things!) are seen as selfish. Just because it's about myself doesn't mean it's selfish, just because I say "no" doesn't mean I don't care! It's a lot to unlearn and reverse this thinking (especially if you grew up in church like I did). I'm a work in progress!
Ugh! We have to learn how to redefine the word “selfish.” It burns me up whenever I see someone play the selfish card. Not with me, of course, because I’m the people-pleaser. 😩 And the “good things” we choose to do for ourselves instead? That leaves folks heated! I agree: I just wish more people understood that a “no” doesn’t mean that we don’t care. It can mean that we just don’t have the capacity to say, “Yes” at the moment. I can’t fully show up for you if I haven’t filled myself yet. I need to put that on a post-it so I can unlearn my tendency to say, “okay” to any and everything! 🤭 We recognize our behaviors. That’s a plus. We’ll get there! 💪🏾
I swear "humble yourself" is instilled in us from birth to the point that people-pleasing is born. I'm a lifelong people-pleaser, who often does things I don't want to do begrudgingly. I hate that. I've been working on saying, "No" but the guilt that follows that no? I wasn't ready for that!
can we talk about it? because it's like everything you do for yourself (even good things!) are seen as selfish. Just because it's about myself doesn't mean it's selfish, just because I say "no" doesn't mean I don't care! It's a lot to unlearn and reverse this thinking (especially if you grew up in church like I did). I'm a work in progress!
Ugh! We have to learn how to redefine the word “selfish.” It burns me up whenever I see someone play the selfish card. Not with me, of course, because I’m the people-pleaser. 😩 And the “good things” we choose to do for ourselves instead? That leaves folks heated! I agree: I just wish more people understood that a “no” doesn’t mean that we don’t care. It can mean that we just don’t have the capacity to say, “Yes” at the moment. I can’t fully show up for you if I haven’t filled myself yet. I need to put that on a post-it so I can unlearn my tendency to say, “okay” to any and everything! 🤭 We recognize our behaviors. That’s a plus. We’ll get there! 💪🏾